Say Something
by Not Really My Cup of Tea
Summary: Say something I'm giving up on you... "I stood there, the tears had long ago ran out... He couldn't see my anguish as I watched his pale face and begged, just begged for a sign that he was still there. That he was still alive and just resting. That I'd wake up, my arms around his waist, and this would all be some horrible nightmare..." FrostIron. Oneshot. Rated T just in case.


**Author's note: **Just a warning. This is a fic containing a gay couple, if you don't like it then don't read it.

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I stood there; the tears had long ago run out. I knew he would hate to see me like this, but he couldn't see me. He couldn't hear my voice crack and shake. He couldn't feel my hands run through his hair. He couldn't feel my tears fall onto his cold lips. He couldn't see my anguish as I watched his pale face and begged, just begged for a sign that he was still there. That he was still alive and just resting. That I'd wake up, my arms around his waist, and this would all be some horrible nightmare and he'd comfort me.

I ran a hand through his midnight colored hair, it was silky as always. It was no longer slicked back but hung loose, framing his high cheekbones. It was too long and too short all the same.

I raised my hand to his jaw, tracing that as well. Then his lips, his eyes, his everything. My hand shook as I withdrew it to my side. If only I could have traded places with him. I would've in an instant. The blow or the magic or whatever the hell it was would've killed me but he would've lived on. Isn't that what gods did? Keep living? Sure, he would mourn. Probably destroy a good portion of New York, maybe take over a world, but he would be alive. He would stop hurting, and eventually he would forget me. He had thousands of years to live maybe more, but me, it wouldn't matter much. The very thing that kept me alive was still killing me, however slowly.

God, I missed him. I missed waking up to him. I missed falling asleep in his arms. I missed his soothing voice that kept me from the worst of the attacks, the flashbacks. I missed his eyes, the way they lit up when he smiled. I missed tracing the tattoos he had on his Jotun form while we lay there, doing nothing at all. I missed the playful banter between us. I missed the way he pointed out constellations that humans never knew. I missed the way he tried to catch up to our midgardian slang just for me. I missed the way he taught me about worlds that I would never be able to see. I missed my Loki.

_Say something, I'm giving up on you_

_I'll be the one, if you want me to_

_Anywhere, I would've followed you_

_Say something, I'm giving up on you_

Things had gotten worse. For me, for the Avengers, for the world. Since the New York event, there have been two more attempts. Of course, you know that, it was the last one where… where you took that blow. It was meant for me, it would have been better if it was me. There have been a few more attacks but nothing quite so destructive. I think everyone's a bit more wary now. Everyone suspects everyone else of being alien, even family suspect each other. If I knew this is what the world would come to then I would've given some thought to his offer of taking over Earth.

The arc reactor has been poisoning me. It's slow but it's steady. I don't know how much time I have left. I've been getting weaker. I could stop it. I could easily pay for the surgery and have the shrapnel removed, but now I'm not sure if I want to. This way is just easier. It'll break their hearts, but I'm tired and I just want to be in your arms again… If you were here I think I'd do it. Get the surgery that is, just so I could spend another moment with you.

The Avengers have changed. Steve found a girl, they want to settle down, but he's never going to be able to quit. Even if he wanted to I doubt he could, SHIELD has become like that. Overcontrolling, working everyone to the grave. Bruce is in control of the other guy and is actually venturing into the world of dating again. Natasha fell in love with an agent she worked with on a mission; we were all surprised when it wasn't Clint. Clint, it seems, is still in love with Natasha. All he ever does is train and take missions. Thor and Jane are married now. It's strange. Then there's me, they all treat me like I'm some fragile, broken thing. Which, now, I very well may be.

_And I am feeling so small_

_It was over my head_

_I know nothing at all_

_And I will stumble and fall_

_I'm still learning to love_

_Just starting to crawl_

"Tony, visiting hours are over in three minutes," Pepper said quietly, as she opened the door and stepped inside.

I hated that, how people would look at me like that, with that soft, pitying look. They didn't pity me before. I guess they're just now seeing that I'm not getting over you. I'm not moving on. You weren't just some pretty face, I loved you. I love you.

_Say something, I'm giving up on you_

_I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you_

_Anywhere, I would've followed you_

_Say something, I'm giving up on you_

"Alright, just give me minute," I murmured, my eyes never leaving him. Not even as she frowned, opened her mouth to say something but then thought better of it and left. She always did. I had the whole routine memorized. Later she would tell me that I had to move on, that you would hate to see me this way. I'm sure you would, but I always responded the same way, bitterly, "Well, he can't really see me like this, right now, can he?" Then she would sit there quietly, angrily. She was right, of course.

_And I will swallow my pride_

_You're the one that I love_

_And I'm saying goodbye_

"Loki…Please… just a sign… please…" I begged. I held his cold hand, my fingers entwined with his. I kneeled beside him, letting my head fall against his chest.

There was nothing except a heartbeat. Slow, but steady.

Hot tears, streamed down my face. This isn't fair. We should be at home, laughing or kissing or talking or just sitting there.

"Loki…" It was one last hopeful prayer, one last plea.

_Say something, I'm giving up on you_

_And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you_

_And anywhere, I would have followed you_

_Oh-oh-oh-oh say something, I'm giving up on you_

I bit my lip, when the tears came I no longer tried to hide them. It was just a reminder of how it should've been me not you. I slowly lifted my head. I stood up on shaking legs and looked at him. Even like this he was beautiful. I pushed his hair away from his face. I didn't want to live without that face, without him I was nothing.

I pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, my forehead resting on his for a moment, "Goodbye Loki. I love you." Tears fell my eyes and landed on his, it almost seemed like he was crying with me. I watched as my tears traced a path from his eyes down his cheek before falling onto his neck. I felt like I was at a funeral.

I turned around and stumbled to the door, choking back my sobs.

_Say something, I'm giving up on you_

_Say something..._

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**Author's note: NRMCT here, this is my first fic, so how is it? Good? Bad? Horrible? Just plain weird? Oh, and also, are the paragraphs indented? When I check they aren't but I can't seem to find a way to fix that... **


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